When it comes time to decide what goes on a headstone, most families feel overwhelmed. You want to honor someone's entire life in a limited space, and you only get one chance to get it right. The good news is that once you understand what typically goes on a memorial marker and how to arrange it, the process becomes much more manageable.
This guide walks you through every element that can appear on a headstone, from the essential details like names and dates to optional personal touches like epitaphs, symbols, and portraits. Whether you are ordering your first memorial or planning ahead, this is everything you need to know.
Required Information
Almost every headstone includes these core elements. Some cemeteries require all of them, while others are more flexible. Check with your cemetery before finalizing your layout.
Full Legal Name
The person's legal first and last name is standard. Many families also include a middle name or maiden name. Some options:
- First, Middle, Last: John Michael Smith
- With maiden name: Mary Elizabeth (Johnson) Smith
- Nickname included: Robert "Bobby" Williams
- Titles or suffixes: Dr. James Carter, Sr.
If you are ordering a companion marker (for two people), both names will need to fit. On a 28x16x3in flat marker, there is typically room for both names side by side or stacked.
Dates of Birth and Death
Birth and death dates are standard on virtually every headstone. The way you format them is a personal choice, and we cover the most common options in the date formats section below.
Relationship Title
Many headstones include a relationship identifier like "Beloved Mother," "Loving Husband," or "Devoted Father and Grandfather." This helps visitors understand the person's role in the family and adds a personal touch beyond just a name.
Optional Elements
These are the elements that transform a headstone from a record into a tribute. Not every marker includes all of these, but knowing your options helps you make informed choices.
Epitaph or Inscription
An epitaph is a short phrase, quote, or verse that captures something meaningful about the person. It could be a favorite saying, a Bible verse, a line of poetry, or something entirely original. We have compiled over 200 epitaph ideas organized by relationship and theme if you need inspiration.
On a 28x16x3in flat marker, you typically have room for 2 to 4 lines of epitaph text after the name and dates, depending on font size and line spacing.
Religious Symbols and Icons
Crosses, Stars of David, crescent moons, angel motifs, and other religious symbols are among the most common design elements on headstones. At SilkStone, we offer pre-designed templates for Christian, Jewish, Mormon, and Muslim traditions, available for both single and companion markers. These are sandblasted directly into the granite alongside your text.
Decorative Designs
Beyond religious symbols, many families choose floral patterns, border designs, open book motifs, or other decorative elements. These designs frame the text and add visual character. SilkStone's design catalogue includes book designs, decorative border patterns, and more.
Military Insignia
Veterans often have their branch of service emblem or rank insignia included on their headstone. If your loved one served in the military, you may also be eligible for a government-furnished headstone or marker through the VA, though many families prefer to purchase their own for more design flexibility.
Fraternal or Organizational Emblems
Masonic symbols, lodge emblems, sorority or fraternity letters, and other organizational insignia can be included. These are typically placed in a corner or as a small element within the overall design.
Portraits and Photos
Ceramic or porcelain photo medallions can be attached to some headstones. For flat markers, a laser-etched portrait on a granite surface is another option some providers offer, though it requires a light-colored granite for visibility. SilkStone currently focuses on sandblasted text and designs rather than photo etching.
Date Formats
How you display dates is a matter of personal preference and available space. Here are the most common formats:
Full Written Dates
- January 15, 1942 to March 8, 2026
- Jan. 15, 1942 to Mar. 8, 2026
Numeric Formats
- 01/15/1942 to 03/08/2026
- 1942 to 2026 (years only)
Born/Died Format
- Born January 15, 1942 / Died March 8, 2026
- B. Jan 15, 1942 / D. Mar 8, 2026
Symbolic Dividers
Many headstones use a small design element between birth and death dates instead of the word "to." Common options include a small cross, a diamond shape, a flower, or a simple dot. Your engraver can show you options during the proof stage.
Tip: If your loved one was born on a date that could be confusing in numeric format (for example, 01/02/1950 could mean January 2nd or February 1st depending on the convention), use the written format to avoid ambiguity.
Font Considerations
The font you choose affects both the look and the readability of your headstone. Here are a few things to think about:
- Serif fonts (like Times New Roman or Garamond) are traditional and widely used on headstones. They are easy to read and have a classic, timeless feel.
- Sans-serif fonts (like Helvetica or Arial) offer a cleaner, more modern look. They are slightly less common on headstones but can be very effective, especially on contemporary designs.
- Script fonts are elegant but harder to read from a distance. If you use a script font, consider using it only for the epitaph or a secondary line, not the full name.
- All-caps vs. mixed case: Names are often engraved in all capital letters for readability. Epitaphs can be in mixed case for a softer feel.
Your engraver should be able to show you several font options in your digital proof. At SilkStone, we include font recommendations and let you compare options before any engraving begins.
Layout and Spacing Tips
The arrangement of text and designs on a headstone matters as much as the words themselves. A well-laid-out marker is easy to read and visually balanced.
Standard Layout for a Single Flat Marker
On a 28x16x3in flat marker, the most common layout from top to bottom is:
- Design element or religious symbol (top center or top corners)
- Full name (largest text, centered)
- Birth and death dates (centered, below name)
- Relationship title (for example, "Beloved Mother")
- Epitaph (bottom, smaller text)
Companion Marker Layout
For companion markers (two people), the layout typically splits the marker into left and right sections:
- Left side: first person's name and dates
- Right side: second person's name and dates
- Center: shared last name, design element, or epitaph
- Bottom: shared epitaph or family name
Spacing Guidelines
- Leave adequate margins around the edges. Text too close to the border looks crowded and can be harder to engrave cleanly.
- Use consistent spacing between lines. Your engraver will handle this, but if you are providing specific instructions, aim for even gaps.
- Larger text for the name, slightly smaller for dates, smallest for the epitaph. This visual hierarchy guides the reader's eye naturally.
Symbols and Designs
Symbols on headstones carry meaning. Here are some of the most common and what they traditionally represent:
- Cross: Christian faith
- Star of David: Jewish faith
- Crescent and Star: Islamic faith
- Angel: Guidance, protection, spirituality
- Dove: Peace, Holy Spirit
- Rose: Love, beauty (a bud can represent a young life)
- Lily: Purity, innocence
- Oak tree: Strength, endurance
- Open book: Knowledge, faith, life's story
- Clasped hands: Farewell, unity, marriage
- Anchor: Hope, steadfastness, naval service
- Heart: Love, devotion
- Praying hands: Devotion, faith
At SilkStone, we offer sandblasted design templates across several categories: Christian, Jewish, Mormon, Muslim, book designs, and border patterns. These are available for both single and companion (double) markers. If you have a custom design in mind, we can provide a separate quote for designs beyond our standard catalogue.
Common Mistakes to Avoid
These are the errors we see most often. Avoiding them will save you time, money, and heartache.
1. Not Checking Cemetery Requirements First
Every cemetery has its own rules about headstone size, type, and placement. Some cemeteries only accept flat markers. Others require specific dimensions or materials. Always confirm requirements before ordering. Our cemetery rules guide explains what to ask.
2. Trying to Fit Too Much Text
A headstone is not a biography. The most powerful inscriptions are often the shortest. If you are running out of space, consider shortening your epitaph or using a verse reference instead of the full passage.
3. Choosing Style Over Readability
That elaborate script font might look beautiful on screen, but will it be readable from six feet away in five years? Prioritize clarity, especially for names and dates.
4. Rushing the Decision
There is no deadline on choosing headstone text. Take the time you need. Many families wait several months after the funeral to finalize their inscription, and that is perfectly normal.
5. Not Proofreading the Proof
When your engraver sends a digital proof, do not just glance at it. Read every letter, every number, every punctuation mark. Have at least two family members review it independently. Mistakes on granite are permanent.
6. Forgetting the Back of the Stone
Flat markers typically have only one engraved face (the top surface). If you are considering an upright headstone, the back is an option for additional text. For flat markers, plan for everything to fit on the front surface.
Working with Your Engraver
A good engraver is your partner in this process. To make the collaboration smooth:
- Provide typed text. Handwritten instructions can be misread. Type out every word, name, date, and phrase exactly as you want it to appear.
- Specify capitalization. Do you want "JOHN SMITH" or "John Smith"? Be explicit.
- Reference examples. If you have seen a headstone layout you like, share a photo or description with your engraver. Visual references save time.
- Ask about line breaks. Where the text wraps to a new line can change the meaning or flow. If a specific line break matters to you, say so.
- Clarify special characters. Accents on names, hyphens, apostrophes, and other special characters should be noted explicitly.
SilkStone's Digital Proof Process
At SilkStone, we believe you should see exactly what your headstone will look like before a single grain of granite is touched. That is why every order includes a digital proof at no extra cost.
The process is simple:
- You provide your text, dates, and any design preferences when you place your order.
- Our team creates a digital mockup showing your inscription on your chosen granite color.
- You review the proof and request changes. There are no limits on revisions.
- Once you approve, we begin sandblasting your inscription using precision stencils.
This process means no surprises. You control every detail before engraving begins. If a word does not look right, if the spacing feels off, if you want to try a different font, we adjust until you are completely satisfied.
Every SilkStone memorial includes free custom engraving, starting at $899 for our 28x16x3in Himalayan granite flat markers. Granite sourced from quarries our family has worked with for generations, hand-finished in our workshop, and shipped insured to anywhere in the 50 states.
Ready to start? Browse our collection or learn more about how the process works.