Losing someone is hard enough. Paying a premium because a funeral home presented it as your only option is a different kind of pain.
Here is what most funeral homes do not tell you: you are not required to buy a headstone through them. This guide walks you through exactly how to order directly, and what you can realistically save.
The Law Is on Your Side
The FTC Funeral Rule is a federal consumer protection regulation. Under it:
- You can shop for a headstone from any supplier, including online retailers
- Funeral homes cannot require you to purchase a headstone exclusively through them
- Cemeteries can charge a "setting fee" for outside suppliers, but cannot ban outside purchases outright
Funeral homes typically mark up headstones 40 to 100% above wholesale. A marker that costs $599 direct-to-consumer can easily run $1,200 to $2,000 through a funeral home package, for the exact same stone.
Step 1: Contact the Cemetery Before You Order Anything
This is the step most people skip, and the one that prevents the most problems. Before you choose a stone or place an order, call the cemetery office and ask these specific questions:
- What are the maximum and minimum dimensions for a flat marker in that section?
- Is granite required, or are other materials permitted?
- Are there any color restrictions?
- What is the minimum thickness required?
- Who can perform installation, cemetery staff only, or outside installers too?
- How much does the cemetery charge to place a stone from an outside supplier?
- Do you need to submit a design for approval before fabrication begins?
Get the cemetery's regulations in writing if possible. A 28x16x3in flat granite marker is one of the most widely accepted sizes across American cemeteries, but always confirm for the specific section where your loved one is buried.
Step 2: Understand What You Actually Need
Before you start comparing suppliers, know which type of marker you are ordering.
Flat Granite Markers
Flat markers lie flush to the ground (or nearly so). The standard size is 28x16in, with thickness ranging from 2 to 4 inches, 3 inches is the most common and preferred. Flat markers are accepted in virtually all cemetery sections and are significantly more affordable than upright monuments.
Upright Monuments
Upright headstones stand vertically above ground. They are more visible and carry more visual weight, but cost considerably more, require deeper foundations, and are not permitted in many lawn-care cemetery sections. If you are not sure which applies to your situation, ask the cemetery.
Step 3: Choose Your Granite
Granite is the standard for outdoor memorials. It resists weathering, holds engraving detail for generations, and is available in a range of colors. The most common options:
Gray Granite
Also sold as Georgia Gray, Barre Gray, Himalayan Gray, Tropical Gray, Silver Gray, or G633 depending on the supplier. This is the most widely used headstone granite. It looks timeless, engraves cleanly in all climates, and is the most affordable option. A good choice if you want a classic, understated memorial.
Black Granite
Also sold as K2 Black, Absolute Black, Jet Black, India Black, or Shanxi Black. Deep mirror-black surface with dramatic contrast on polished engravings. Popular for contemporary designs and portrait engravings. Slightly more expensive than gray granite.
Gold or Specialty Granite
Limited quarry sourcing, premium price, genuinely distinctive as a memorial. SilkStone Memorial's Midnight Gold granite, a deep near-black field with natural gold and bronze flecks, is exclusive to our collection and unavailable elsewhere.
Step 4: Order Directly
You have two main options for ordering outside a funeral home: a local monument dealer or an online supplier.
Local Monument Dealers
In-person consultation, ability to see samples, local cemetery knowledge. Wider customization options for complex designs. Generally more expensive than online suppliers due to showroom overhead, and usually charge per-letter for engraving.
Online Suppliers
Granite is granite. A polished flat marker ships the same way whether it came from a local shop or a direct workshop. What to look for in an online supplier:
- Exact dimensions listed (length x width x thickness)
- Granite grade or origin specified
- Custom engraving included in the base price
- Proof approval process before fabrication
- Established shipping method with tracking and insurance
- Real contact information (email or phone, not just a web form)
What to be careful about:
- Base price listed without engraving, which is charged separately
- Stones listed without thickness (thinner stones crack more easily)
- No proof approval step before cutting
- No clear returns or replacement policy for damaged shipments
Step 5: Approve the Proof
A reputable supplier sends a digital proof, an image showing exactly how the engraving will appear on the stone, before any fabrication begins. This is a critical step. Check everything:
- Correct spelling of all names and dates (triple-check)
- Font and size are readable from a normal viewing distance
- Religious symbols or artwork are positioned correctly
- Epitaph reads exactly as intended
- Overall layout looks balanced
Do not rush this step. Changes are easy before the stone is cut. They are impossible after. A good supplier will revise the proof as many times as needed until you are satisfied.
After proof approval, typical lead times are 4 to 8 weeks from approval to delivery. Inspect the stone at delivery before signing the receipt. Document any visible damage with photos before the delivery driver leaves.
Step 6: Coordinate Installation
Two main paths for installation:
- Cemetery installs it. The most common path. The cemetery charges a setting fee (typically $150 to $400 for a flat marker) and their crew handles placement. Simple and reliable.
- Approved outside installer. Some cemeteries allow you to hire an approved installer, which may cost less than the cemetery's own setting fee.
For flat markers, installation is straightforward: the marker is set on a concrete foundation (often already in place or installed as part of the setting fee). The cemetery handles this as a standard service.
What Does It Actually Cost?
Here is a realistic side-by-side breakdown for a 28x16x3in flat granite headstone:
| Item | Funeral Home Route | Direct Route |
|---|---|---|
| 28x16x3in gray granite marker | $900 to $1,800 | $599 |
| Custom engraving | Often extra ($150 to $400) | Often included |
| Cemetery setting fee | Same either way | Same either way |
| Total (excl. setting fee) | $1,050 to $2,200 | from $599 |
Savings by going direct: $400 to over $1,500 depending on funeral home markup. The setting fee is the same regardless of where you buy the stone, it is charged by the cemetery, not the supplier.
Why SilkStone Memorial
SilkStone Memorial exists to solve exactly this problem. We source granite directly from quarries in the Himalayan mountains of Pakistan , no distributors, no funeral home middlemen, and pass that savings to you.
Our collection includes:
- Himalayan Gray Granite (also Georgia Gray, Barre Gray, G633), $599, free custom engraving
- K2 Black Granite (also Absolute Black, Jet Black, India Black), $599, free custom engraving
- Midnight Gold Granite, our exclusive, no other company carries this stone, $1249, free custom engraving
Every order includes free custom engraving: names, dates, epitaphs, and artwork from our standard catalogue. We send a digital proof before we engrave. We ship via UPS Ground, fully insured, to all 48 states. We deliver to homes, cemeteries, or monument installers.
Browse our collection to see current pricing on all granite options.
Frequently Asked Questions
Do I need a funeral director to order a headstone?
No. The FTC Funeral Rule gives consumers the right to purchase a headstone from any supplier. You do not need a funeral director or funeral home involved in the process at all. You can order directly from an online supplier, a local monument dealer, or a workshop.
Will my cemetery accept a headstone I ordered online?
Most will, provided the stone meets their specifications. Confirm dimensions, thickness, granite requirements, and color restrictions with your cemetery before ordering. A 28x16x3in flat granite marker meets the standard requirements at most U.S. cemeteries.
How long does it take to receive a headstone ordered online?
Typically 4 to 8 weeks from proof approval to delivery. Rush production (2 weeks or less) is available from some suppliers for an additional fee. After delivery, installation timing depends on your cemetery's schedule.
Can I see a proof before the stone is made?
Yes, any reputable supplier will send a digital proof showing exactly how the engraving will appear before any cutting begins. Do not order from a supplier who does not offer this step. It protects you from errors that cannot be undone after fabrication.
